LOTO Spotlight
LOTO Regicide!!!
The Sweet LOTO Prince always pays his debts. Doc Ock sends shockwaves across LOTOville, USA with a statement-game win over the reigning champ and LOTO King. Has The prince finally exercised the demons of the 2022 campaign??
The LOTO Swami went 4-2 in week 4 matchups and is 5-7 on the year.
Jones Family Hoe Clappers vs KUWTJs
Despite the 0-4 record the ESPN prognosticators have thought it wise to project the highest point total of the week for KUWTJs. Unfortunately for KUWTJs, the Clappers patience was rewarded with the early return of JameO Williams from suspension and also the former rushing champ Johnathan Taylor in the same week. The Clappers are one step away from full strength as Quadzilla Barkley nears his return from ankle injury. Hey Wizard, this is how you build for the playoffs!! Prognosticators be damned, The Hoe train gets rolling this week!
T-Bone vs The Big Nasty Bastard
The Commish finds himself a 14point dog in this matchup, likely with many questions to himself. Can CMC maintain this pace? Will the Commish find an answer at the QB position? Will he ever fulfill his duties as floor warden and catch the masked undesirables at the bank? Only time will tell. This matchup will likely head to the night game with the Commish needing a miracle from CMC. He likely will make it close, but I am giving the nod to TBone this week, with the overwhelmingly favorable matchups in week 5. T-Bone with the chef’s kiss.
The Black Kai vs Up in Smoke
This one feels a little unfair after seeing what unfolded in the Thursday night game. A Triple-Double Banger night for the Black Kai. I’d say sweep the leg, but…. you already did! Black Kai, show some mercy why don’t you!
Red Rockets 2 vs Doc Ock
The Tip of the Penis Division meets the back of the Right Ball Division, the part in the back that touches the gooch. The LOTO Prince holds a nice edge in matchup favorability this week, that I think he exploits. Doc Ock moves to 5-0 in his attempt to fix his lifetime LOTO winning percentage after the 2022 season. The Rockets are grounded for another week.
Rise of the Li’l Cracker vs The Machine
****UPSET ALERT, UPSET ALERT, UPSET ALERT**** In what can only be described as ‘suspect’, the Machine finds himself the benefactor of the schedule maker in week 5 against The Cracker. Sounds like a shady deal was made on Conestoga to acquire such an advantage. Only thing that makes any sense. The Cracker will need a 4TD day from Greedy if he makes it out of this one. I’m not so sure that happens. Machine pulls out a squeaker.
GAME OF THE WEEK
The Ben Cosbys vs The Wizard
Poke and Hope scrubs faceoff in this edition of the Game of the Week. The Wizard made a fool of the LOTO Swami last week in dispatching the T-Bone with solid production up and down his roster. A very workman-like effort despite the high volume of vacations in 2023. This week brings an altogether different challenge in facing off with the diabolical mayor, ‘Roofy’ Giuliani. Both teams clawing from the bottom half of their divisions, looking to avoid the pretender tag before the season slips away. With no clear matchup advantage either way, this one will be closer than Poke and Hope 2nd shots from the tee box. Josh Allen traveling to merry ol’ London could be an equalizing factor in this one and could spell disaster early on the onset for the Cosbys. However, the Sun God Brown popping up on the injury report this week is an unfortunate turn of events for the magic man, and not one I think easily overcome. Alot of puts and takes here but I believe Roofy Giuliani pulls himself up by his boot straps and proves why he’s LOTOs Mayor. The Cosby’s cook up a batch strong enough to get it done this week. Welcome to LOTO relevancy mayor!
“107 messages what the hell going on in here i am sober its Friday night”
The Red Rocket
“Dick Butkus, gayest name ever”
The Cracker
“sunscreen is for pussies, that shit causes cancer more than the sun”
The Sweet LOTO Prince
A League of Their Own 